Friday, January 28, 2005

Chickens and Chickens

What a rotten few days. First my car's rear window was smashed. Apparently some complete prick ( and I use those words with all the venom and vitriol with which they were designed) backed into my car at about 2 AM, smashed my window and then drove away. At least , that's the best theory I can come up with. The car had one of those ugly rear window louvres, so I'm assuming it was an accident and not an act of mindless vandalism (there was no rock or other projectile in the car) .

That's not the dodgey bit though (although it is pretty lame in itself) The dodgey bit is that the complete prick then decided to move my bin (it was bin night) and place it next to my car to frame the bin man for the crime! When I first came out in the morning I assumed that the giant clumsy bin robot atached to the garbage truck had broken my car. Careful inspection showed me that the bin hadn't been collected yet, and was also far too short to reach my window.

So thanks fellah,(or chickybabe) for costing me 340 dollars for nothing. I don't ususally get mad or violent, but I think I would quite like to punch this person. I mean, wouldn't you just own up? I would.

Anyway, car smashing aside, Ali rang me today to tell me that there had been a chicken massacre in my backyard. We were dog-sitting for some friends, who are out of town. I thought the dogs were kind of cute and fun, even going so far to say that they were the nicest dogs I've met (except for the poo - dog poo is the ickiest thing on the planet.) But little did I know that they were actually the spawn of satan. Unbeknownst to us, they'd been snouting(?) a little hole in the chicken wire fence for the last week and a half. Anyway, today they made it into the chook pen, and it was a free-for all chicken eating feather plucking bonanza.

Of course, the kids found chicken guts and feathers all over the backyard and were suitably distressed. I've just spent the last half hour on corpse detail, picking up the remains of our feathered friends. They left one egg in the nest. It looked very poignant, surrounded by chicken guts and body parts.

So - there you go. I said it was a rotten few days, but it hasn't really been all bad.
Ali and I went out to dinner to celebrate our 9th Anniversery last night. That was fun!


  1. Hi Gordy, you should tie the "spawn of satan" to your letterbox with a long leash. If the "chicken" that messed with your car comes back, perhaps you'll find body parts strewn around near your wheelie bin..

  2. Hey! Great Plan! Chickens and Chicken! what sort of a tabloid journalist would I make. I missed the headline! In fact, I'm going to change it now... There, that's better.