Thursday, January 05, 2006

Gord's American Adventure - Day Something

It's kind of hard to tell where exactly the day started, or ended. Time is a fuzzy, fuzzy made up human thing...

Let's see - last post I finished on the floor of Stilly's Mountain View Apartment. Since then, I've been to visit the Googleplex, where I ate lunch at Charlie's Cafe (amazingly good Chinese food including without doubt the most horrible beverage I ever consumed), wandered around the campus, saw amazing things, and pooed in the most hi tech and impressive toilet I've ever had the pleasure to poo in.

Really, the googleplex is Nerd Heaven. It's where all the nerds would love to go if they died. A huge sprawling campus full of other nerds to argue with about stuff, unlimited delicious free food, every hi tech gadget , toy and convenience you could imagine. Dual 24" Monitors. Whatever hardware you want...Freedom to create whatever you want, on pretty much your own schedule...

After that I took the train into San Francisco, and got very, very rained on. I did get to ride a cable car on market street, and then get completely lost. San Francisco is a very neat looking city. I liked it a lot. I just wish it wasn't raining so badly. I could just make out the Golden Gate Bridge through the fog. (Alcatraz was out of the question).

Lets see.. Then I returned back to Mountain View, ate as much as I could of an enormous hamburger for dinner (I have never been hungry since I arrived in America, but I sure have eaten a lot!) and hopped on the hour long flight out of San Jose to Los Angeles.

That left me with an hour of wandering around LAX waiting for the overnight flight to Washington. That gave me lots of time to get annoyed, but little did I know...When it finally boarded, the flight was absolutely packed, and I ended up sitting next to the world's most annoying Sikh man, who thought it was okay to talk really loudly until about 2 o'clock, in Singhalese or Urdu or Hindi or something (apologies to any speakers of any of those languages I may have just offended.)

I'm a very patient man, but when he started clapping (I'm serious - clapping, in time to his iPod loudly at three o'clock on the red-eye) Even my patient soul couldn't handle it any more.

Sleepy Gord : "Um Man, are you cool?" (this is a leading question)
Annoying Turban Man: "What?"
Sleepy Gord : "Is that a cool thing to be doing? Clapping like that? While everyone else is trying to sleep? I don't think it is!" (evil glare)
Annoying Turban Man: "Oh. That. Well alright." He looks away.

At this point he decided to start flipping the top of his soda can in time to his iPod instead.

You know how once you're really annoyed with someone, it doesn't matter what they do? He could have just sat there and done nothing and I would have become more pissed off with him. Fortunately for me, he didn't. He farted. He snored. He kept hogging the armrest, and leaning on me. I sat there, seething, wondering if it was true that Sikhs never cut their hair, and if anyone had ever been strangled with their own beard.

Eventually, I stumbled into Dulles Airport, having had zero hours sleep, and in a thoroughly unpleasant mood. I managed to check into my hotel, and collapsed on the bed. Lucky for me, my colleagues at TOWER Software US came to retrieve me at about 12:30. Nice to put faces to all these voice and email people I've been speaking to for years.

Now, to get back to that sleeping thing...


  1. We love you Gordy :)

    So glad to see/hear that you are safely in the US and having some adventures! It is very exciting and I am so enjoying your travelogue :) Are you finding that a single portion of food in America is actually enough to feed a family of six? Also in reference to the hideous beverage - have you tried a lemonade yet? - I rate that as the most disgusting thing I drank in the States :)

    Go gently :)
    Samantha, Cameron and Elijah xox

  2. Lemonade is ok so long as you remember that you should have asked for a Sprite. It only takes a few sessions to learn...

    Gordo, did you get to go on one of the funky buses at Dulles? They're cool.

    It was good to have you along for the ride, and I'm glad you liked the 'plex. It all feels so normal to me now.